The Modern Southern (Belle) Woman

The other day I was perusing one of my favorite websites, Thought Catalog, when I came across this article. After I read it, I felt the need to write a response. I'd like to point out that I do realize there are characteristics of Southern women. I've read dozens of essays on said characteristics and even enjoyed and agreed with some of them. My problem with this particular article is that the author forces women to choose, and I will not be boxed in. I don't typically like to use my blog to rant, and I actually wrote this several days before I decided to post it. I put it away, but the original article was still bothering me. I'm not sure why I so strongly feel the need to respond, but even if the author never reads this response, it still feels good to get this off my chest. 

Dear Candace Thompson,
Hi! We've never met, but I recently read your article "21 Differences Between A Southern Belle and A Modern Woman" on Thought Catalog. From your intro, I see that we have a lot of things in common. I too am a woman, an adult, college-educated, hard-working and active in my community. I also prioritize family over finances and consider myself to be feminine. So far so good, right?

However, as I continued reading your article, I quickly found our biggest difference: our definition of a "Modern Woman". I had actually not ever thought about this phrase before. After all, if you are a woman living in modern times, are you not a "Modern Woman"? I found myself growing more and more appalled with each "difference" you noted. As a Southern Woman I am deeply offended. Why can't I be both?? Are you that narrow minded that you can't see that a Southern Belle can adapt to the Modern World??

Does the fact that my family is the most important part of my life make me old-fashioned? Is being "not afraid to cook with butter" the opposite of modern? Am I not modern because I believe Cheerleading is a Sport? As a former cheerleader, who once sustained a concussion during a stunt, I KNOW that cheerleading is a sport.

Am I no longer Southern because I believe that women and men should be treated as equals??  My mother and grandmother, who are about as southern as they come, preached to me and my sister growing up that we could do anything we want. Not anything that fits into our specified gender role. ANYTHING WE WANT. Does that mean they're not Southern Belles?

You also noted that Southern Belles "are human and make mistakes like everyone else, but it's important for Southern Belles to always keep a brave face and a strong back for the other people in their lives. They know, especially when they have families, that people depend on them to keep calm in the face of chaos." So, does this mean that Southern Belles don't cry? Or that Modern Women struggle with facing adversity and shrivel into a big ol' crying mess? Because, yes I cry. But I also know what it means to be strong for others. So where does that put me?

My personal favorite was: "When they invite someone over, they always have the best gossip ready. And they know that gossip is an art form." I'm not even sure how to comment on this one other than thanks Candace for making Southern Women seem like a bunch of catty bitches who sit around talking about others all day long. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty of gossiping as any of my fellow Modern Women/Southern Belles, but I don't invite my friends over to my house because I'm armed with a heap of conversation starters that begin with: "Did you see what she was wearing?" Or "have you heard who he's dating?"

So I guess my point in writing to you, Candace, is because I don't understand why you believe that I can't be a Southern Belle and a Modern Woman. Because you feel the need to categorize women into one or the other, you are stifling your gender. Both the South and women in general have come a long way, but you refuse to acknowledge this. It's this type of thinking that makes it okay for an employer to pay a woman less than a man because you, as a woman, don't view men and women as equals. It's this type of thinking that constantly keeps the south from moving forward because you believe that feeling fulfilled with a career makes you anti-southern. And frankly, it's this type of thinking that is dangerous for women. We as women should be empowering each other, not tearing each other down or judging each other because of our life choices.

So, as a Modern Southern Woman, I'd really appreciate it if you would stop seeing me as a stereotype. Because I am so much more than that. I am a Southerner. I am hard-working. I love my family. I am a Christian. I am loyal to a fault. I can be girly. I will never settle. I am in some ways traditional and in other ways modern. I am a woman, and I refuse to be put into a category. I'm far too complex for that. How's that for a walking contradiction?

xoxo,
JET

Rice for days

Hi all!
It's been awhile since I've written on here, and I won't bore you with all my excuses. Instead, I'm going to treat you to a recipe! In an effort to be more frugal, one of my New Year's Resolutions is to cook more at home. Because of my hectic schedule and social tendencies, it's so easy to just pick up some takeout or go to dinner with my friends.

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day and came across an article I had already pinned: 51 Healthy Weeknight Dinners That'll Make You Feel Great. I don't ever remember reading it so I followed the link. It took me to the ever-trusty Buzzfeed. Seeing as how I stalk Buzzfeed on a daily basis, I have no idea how I missed this article.

It gave some great ideas and even categorized the recipes into categories such as "When you want fish..." and "When you need noodles..." I came across a recipe that made me do a double take: Edamame and Veggie Fried Rice. I followed the link for the recipe and found an AMAZING blog called Poor Girl Eats Well. She has all kinds of tips on how to make it when you're running low on funds. She even includes how much each recipe costs per serving. (This one is only 65 cents a serving!!)

Tonight I gave it a try, and I was very pleased with the results. Check out the recipe below reposted from Poor Girl Eats Well:

*Disclaimer: This is the picture from the original post and the Buzzfeed article. I did not photograph mine!

Edamame & Veggie Fried Brown Rice (makes 4-6 servings; total cost per serving: $0.65)

Ingredients
1-2 T cooking oil
1/3 c chopped yellow onion
2 c cooked brown rice (preferably day old) - Mine was not day old, and it turned out fine!
1 c frozen shelled edamame
1 1/2 c frozen mixed veggies (I used the Asian Stir Fry blend in mine, but regular mixed veggies also work) - I used a Spring Mix that included carrots, asparagus, and squash - Delicious!
3 large eggs, scrambled
2-3 T low-sodium soy sauce
1/3 c chopped green onions

Directions
1.   Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium high heat.  Add the chopped onion and cook quickly, until fragrant and slightly translucent.  Add the cooked brown rice and cook for about 1-2 minutes, then add the edamame and other frozen veggies.  Cook until the veggies are thawed.

2.  Add the fried egg and soy sauce and mix together well.   Finally, add the chopped green onions and fold them into the rice gently.  Garnish with extra chopped scallions and soy sauce, serve with your favorite protein or on its own, and enjoy!

I think next time I make this, I'll try adding either shrimp or chicken to it, but it was great on it's own. Also, this recipe makes a TON. I'll be having leftovers for a few days, but it was so good I don't mind! I will definitely be trying more of PGEW's recipes in the future, and one day I hope to master her $25 Shopping Cart!

Check out the original post here.

xoxo,
JET

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams are Made Of

Nine years ago, I boarded a plane for New York with my mother, grandmother, two friends, and their mothers. We had been invited to cheer in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and it was my first trip to the Big Apple. We had such a great time sight-seeing and dancing at Herald Square, I knew then that it would not be my last trip. My grandmother even made the comment that she would like to come back with all her girls.

She decided that for her 70th birthday, she wanted to go to NYC. The day after Christmas this year Mimi, my mother, my two aunts, my two cousins, my sister and I headed out for the adventure of a lifetime. We were all so excited, we could barely sleep. And thanks to our flight being moved to 7:00 a.m., we didn't have much time to sleep!

This was my fourth trip to New York, but there was still plenty I hadn't seen. We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn at Times Square. The location was perfect because we were in walking distance to everything, but we were still a couple of blocks away from the noisiness of Times Square.

When we arrived, we checked our luggage with the hotel and off we went. We headed over to Grand Central Station via Subway. Everyone was amazed by the size and the amount of people rushing about to get to their destinations. After a quick lunch, we headed to Rockefeller Center to see the big tree. I couldn't get over the size and the beauty of it! Caroline and I wanted to ice skate, but there were so many people and the line was forever long. We'll save that for next time.

Grand Central Station

Mimi made a friend on the Subway!

Radio City Music Hall

Rockefeller Center!

That night we went to dinner at Ellen's Stardust Diner. My mom, sister, and Mimi had all been there before and said it was something we all had to do. I'm not going to lie, I was not excited about the line outside at first, but we were seated in 30 minutes and got to enjoy the fabulous musical stylings of the singing wait staff. A lot of Broadway stars worked at Ellen's before they got their big breaks. It was so much fun!

Ellen's Stardust Diner

Friday, we got up early and headed to Battery Park to catch the Ferry to the Statue of Liberty. We had tickets for the 9:00 Ferry, but we got there early just in case. We actually were able to leave at 8:30 because the Ferry was full. The Statue of Liberty was AMAZING! I learned a lot that I didn't know about Lady Liberty in the museum, and we even got to go into the Pedestal. Ellen and I took the stairs, which was quite a hike! The view of the NYC skyline was amazing!

After Liberty Island, our Ferry stopped at Ellis Island. It still had extensive damage to it from Hurricane Sandy, so there were a few exhibits that we didn't get to see. But it was still really cool to see where our ancestors came to America. My great-great grandmother came through Ellis Island when she was 15 years old. Knowing that we were standing where she once stood was truly incredible and moving.

Later that day, we went to the Financial District to Check out the 9/11 Memorial. When Ellen and I were there in June, we walked right up and got passes. However due to the sheer volume of people visiting, you had to have advance passes to get in, and passes had to be purchased at St. Paul's Church. People were waiting in line for passes that weren't good for another two hours. With a large group of 9 in the cold weather, there was no way we could wait. We ducked in to Century 21 for a little retail therapy. Century 21 is Mimi's favorite store in NYC and is definitely a must-see. It's a massive, discount department store - they literally have everything! We found some great deals, and then made our way to Ellen's favorite - Chinatown.

My sister is amazing when it comes to Chinatown! She flits from shop to shop wheeling and dealing for everyone in the group. Caroline was following right in her footsteps. It was hilarious, and I never get tired of it! We took a short walk to Little Italy. Everything was lit up and decorated for Christmas - it was beautiful. Aunt Carley was loving it, and quickly decided that this was her favorite part of the city. We had a dinner at Amici II, which was so good. It was very small and quaint, and you could tell it was family owned. It was definitely the best meal of the trip, and I think it's safe to say it was everyone's favorite. We never felt rushed, and the wait staff was super friendly and helpful.

After dinner, I volunteered to go to the Empire State Building with Aunt Tammy, Anna, and Caroline. Even though I've been 3 times now, I still love it! The view is just so magical, I never get tired of it. When we got there, the line started outside. But I reassured them it was worth the wait. Once we got inside, it was really hot, and we kept thinking we would never make it. But we finally did! We took the first elevator bank to the 80th floor. Then we were given the option of waiting 15 more minutes for the second elevator or walking up the six remaining flights of stairs which took roughly 5 minutes. We were so tired of waiting we decided to take the stairs. (And yes, this was my second time to take the stairs that day!) We made it to the stop a little winded but excited. The view at night is so incredible! We had so much fun, but after we made it 3/4 of the way around, Anna's fear of heights got the best of her so we went inside.

Saturday morning, we loaded up on the Double Decker Hop On Hop Off bus Uptown. I know it's super touristy, but it's a great way to see the city. We bundled up and sat up top. Even though I had done it before, I still found it so interesting. The driver took us all through Uptown, around the Park and even through Harlem.

Up top on the Bus!

We got off at the stop in front of the Plaza Hotel, so we could go inside for a quick tour. The Christmas decorations were amazing. We went back outside and jumped in a horse-drawn carriage for a ride through Central Park.

After the bus tour, Mom, Ellen, Caroline, and I took a quick walk through Times Square and hit up Forever 21. Before we knew it, it was time to get ready for our night.

Caroline was so excited to meet the Naked Cowboy.

We had dinner reservations at Angus McIndoe's before seeing Kinky Boots! My grandmother chose Kinky Boots because it had won a lot of Tony's. It did not disappoint! I seriously can't say enough good things about it... I absolutely loved it! The music was great, the storyline was great... it was perfect! After the show, Caroline got Stark Sands' autograph (He was the lead male in the show), and Aunt Carley even snapped a picture of us with him.

Before calling it a night, we headed to Junior's for some cheesecake and hot chocolate.

Sunday morning, we woke up and went to Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral. It was under construction, so it was hard to see all of it, but it was still beautiful. Cardinal Dolan delivered Mass, which was really cool too. Unfortunately when we left, it was pouring down rain, but we ran to Fireside at the Omni Hotel for some brunch. Next we continued walking down 5th Avenue to Tiffany's. I could literally spend hours there.

We visited a few more shops including Macy's and my favorite - H&M before heading back to the hotel. Aunt D is a huge fan of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and she really wanted to go to the Manzo Brothers restaurant in Hoboken. After a hop, skip, two subway stops, a train, and a cab ride later, we were there. I'm not going to lie, it wasn't my favorite, but it was definitely an adventure! I think my favorite part was Aunt Carley and Caroline striking up a conversation with the Aussies on the train!

I couldn't believe our trip was almost over. Monday morning I woke up early and went to the Museum of Modern Art by myself. I have an obsession with art museums, and I was so excited that I finally got to see my favorite painting, The Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh. I have seen the majority of his paintings, and I've even been to his museum in Amsterdam, but I still hadn't seen his masterpiece. It was definitely worth the wait. I stood in awe of how beautiful it was... I seriously didn't want to leave. While there, I also got to see works by Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollack, and Monet.

We said one final goodbye to the city before it was time to leave. It was a once in a lifetime trip that I will never forget. I'm so glad that we got to experience it together with Mimi.

Until next time New York!!
xoxo,
JET